When I was a kid, I used to get a lot of flack from adults at school and at home because I'm shy and they would say I was anti-social and criticize me, saying I had to make friends because it wasn't normal. So I'd step out of my comfort zone and try to approach people, which would only result in me getting bullied. I seriously only had one real friend who I met when I was 9 but we lost contact when I was 11.
Being different is hard for everyone and I know that, but I just feel like there is totally something wrong with me. I don't feel comfortable with who I am as a person and it hurts my heart greatly. I'm always surrounded by people everyday, but I feel invisible to the world. Honestly, I came to a few conclusions that I made myself believe. I told myself that if I smile,even when I'm in pain, that it will make everything better. Is that really the case? No, I actually feel worse for doing that.
There have been plenty of times in my life when I've just felt like I needed an outlet. This is obviously one of them. I actually had an Oasismag journal back in High School, when I was first exploring and figuring out my sexuality - the uid and password, however, are long gone (and probably "good riddance" - who knows what I was writing about back then...
Hey peeps feeling a little lonely over here PM me! I have better things to do but I'd rather not do them (homework, hamster maintenance, chores, etc.). =)
My high school used to have a fundraiser every year: this one club would sell carnations, to be sent to a fellow student of the buyer's choice, and the money would go to a hospital. The carnations were always delivered on Valentine's day. Some people sent them to friends, some to boyfriends/girlfriends. Some of the more popular kids would actually get multiple flowers.