In several ways, I miss the person I used to be, in all my old meekness and fragility. People now tell me I am brave and strong and independent and I try very hard to be all these things. Mostly, I am okay. But when I am not I feel the strangest emptiness. When I think about it, I was never really empty the way I can be now - I was always longing for something or someone. It wasn't as much emptiness as much as a lack, I suppose.