As I sit here, sipping on my Sleepy Time Tea (don't hate.. it's yummy and I don't need sugar for it. =] ), my mind is a rush of things that have happened to me in a few short hours...
I watched Across the Universe the Universe today. It was such a weird movie, but I liked it. I always thought Jim Sturgess was kinda cute, and I'm a fan of Evan Rachel Wood. I think she's gorgeous, and I believe I have a crush on her. I saw her in The Wrestler and Running With Scissors recently, and I then proceeded to watch interview/movie clips of her on youtube. I know I'm wierd sometimes. There was also a cute/funny Asian girl who was a lesbian, in Across the Universe, I liked her character too.
i'm feeling kind off like crystal today.... the really expencive kind you break by ringing too hard....and it's because today is the 7th year anniversery of my first date, with my first bf.... so, if you could send hugs, kisses, love,chocolate, and any thing else you can think off to get me out of my nest of tissues and tear-stained photos, i'd love it very much....
Well, I'm new here. I've been melting down for about two weeks, every night, and having nightmares when I'm finally asleep. Well, more than two weeks. The reason for that is that I'm going to leave the country in like 4 days, and I have a girlfriend here..
I'm going back to Finland, and it's really exciting having been away for almost a year, but still.. She's the only one that seems to matter nowadays. I'd be happy if I could just take her with me. Or stay here. But not be in America, cuz this sucks. But it's not going to happen. Well, it is, in three years.
the gods cast forth an odd young man, with heart and soul of gold/ to know him is paradise, his love?
Our Poem (or your choice of title)
soothe thy inner flame
it burns thy soul & body
not known is it though
life both fair and fun
never one to pick a fight
eight-striped coloured flag
blade and chalice meet
from their union, comes one more
to the eyes a blade
in his heart of hearts
he feels as a chalice wrapped
entombed within life
when will eyes uncloud?
true beauty is not direct,
look beyond the terms!
in one's life one falls
be it once or many times
can you choose who for?
the boy who moved in?
Sue from fourth grade chemistry?
love could choose either
So I woke up about an hour ago and thought of my distant love and went back to dreamland for 30, then thought and thought and thought about how much I miss him, and got up and did a couple things including this now and Facebook galore, haha.
I can't believe how much I miss him, how much I hate not waking up with him, how little I want to DO anything, because he's not here to do it with me, and at this point he might be away from me for 10 more fucking months.
Well, well, well..
It's been well over two months since my last post, I believe... Wait.. maybe it's been two months. I don't remember. Anyways, I'm back.
A lot has happened in the past two months! I'm sure I could write a book about it all, too haha. I'll just make a list & vent today. =]
warm teardrops run down
slowly across our faces
as we say good-bye
If you're out there, this journal does not do justice.
I realized I liked you when I kissed you.
I realized I cared for you when I burned you with a glue gun.
I realized I adored you when I saw you skate.
And now that we've been apart so long, I realize I might love you.
I don't know where my life is headed. I've made a list of fourteen things that I want to do before I die, which doesn't involve the things I know I want, such as family. They go anywhere from running a choir to owning one of every instrument found in an orchestra (which is a LOT! Just in the percussion section there's about one hundred things. In the trombone section alone there is about ten different varieties not including quality).
This was an awesome lesbian love story! It's geared toward teenagers as the main characters are teenagers. It tells the story of a girl who is realizing she is a lesbian and is also falling in love with a new girl at school. A very realistic depiction of a lesbian teenager and the struggles some of us face. A MUST read! 'Twas awesome!
Is it possible to want to die, but not want to kill yourself? I mean...I wouldn't say I am suicidal...but I don't want to live. No...I think what I mean to say is that I don't want to feel. I think some people confuse not wanting to live and not wanting to feel. See...the thing is...sometimes I wish I was a cutter. I mean...cutters cut because they want to feel something. They can't feel without hurting themselves physically. I want to STOP feeling. I feel too much. I wish I could turn off my physical feeling and my emotion.
So for no apparent reason lately, I've been thinking about my childhood and how much it...well...sucked ass. lol I mean, like I've said before, I HATE whining...but I think now's the time to get it out. Let others see what my...world was....and what it is now...
My sister (best friend like a sister) is in love! im so so so happy for her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3
Well everyone i got stupid. i bought my ex that i was going to ask out a reeses and then gave him a note asking him out even though i knew he would say no.
i am knida wanting him to say yes, but i know its a no. this can only end badly. i am probably going to ask another person out by the end of the day. might be a stupid redneck again.
I am a fourteen year old, female, music loving teenager. With one difference. I am bisexual.
Only recently [recently as in, like, 5 days ago!] did I tell anyone that. My friend, and my BEST friend.
Oh, the most important detail. I am crazily in love with my best friend. Maybe not crazily, that was the wrong word. Just...she is so perfect. We do everything together. I only met her just over a year ago. But still.
I told her, via IM, and she said she thought she might be too. I didn't tell her that I like her, just that I was bi. Now she practically knows my life story.
Okay, here's a happier quote from "The Clod" (actually William Blake, as spoken through The Clod):
"Love seeketh not itself to please,
Nor for itself hath any care,
But for another gives its ease,
And builds a Heaven in Hell's despair."
"The Pebble's" response afterwards is much more dire and pessimistic, so I'm not including it. This is meant to be a happy post. Desides, I've always identified more with The Clod. Funny that.
Hmm.. what to talk about? I don't know, I guess I'll just write something about a girl I'm in love with. I might as well..