Our Poem (or your choice of title)

soothe thy inner flame
it burns thy soul & body
not known is it though

life both fair and fun
never one to pick a fight
eight-striped coloured flag

blade and chalice meet
from their union, comes one more
to the eyes a blade

in his heart of hearts
he feels as a chalice wrapped
entombed within life

when will eyes uncloud?
true beauty is not direct,
look beyond the terms!

in one's life one falls
be it once or many times
can you choose who for?

the boy who moved in?
Sue from fourth grade chemistry?
love could choose either

So I woke up about an hour ago and thought of my distant love and went back to dreamland for 30, then thought and thought and thought about how much I miss him, and got up and did a couple things including this now and Facebook galore, haha.

I can't believe how much I miss him, how much I hate not waking up with him, how little I want to DO anything, because he's not here to do it with me, and at this point he might be away from me for 10 more fucking months.

Well, well, well..

It's been well over two months since my last post, I believe... Wait.. maybe it's been two months. I don't remember. Anyways, I'm back.
=]

A lot has happened in the past two months! I'm sure I could write a book about it all, too haha. I'll just make a list & vent today. =]

warm teardrops run down
slowly across our faces
as we say good-bye

A.J. Chilson

If you're out there, this journal does not do justice.

I realized I liked you when I kissed you.

I realized I cared for you when I burned you with a glue gun.

I realized I adored you when I saw you skate.

And now that we've been apart so long, I realize I might love you.

I don't know where my life is headed. I've made a list of fourteen things that I want to do before I die, which doesn't involve the things I know I want, such as family. They go anywhere from running a choir to owning one of every instrument found in an orchestra (which is a LOT! Just in the percussion section there's about one hundred things. In the trombone section alone there is about ten different varieties not including quality).

This was an awesome lesbian love story! It's geared toward teenagers as the main characters are teenagers. It tells the story of a girl who is realizing she is a lesbian and is also falling in love with a new girl at school. A very realistic depiction of a lesbian teenager and the struggles some of us face. A MUST read! 'Twas awesome!

Is it possible to want to die, but not want to kill yourself? I mean...I wouldn't say I am suicidal...but I don't want to live. No...I think what I mean to say is that I don't want to feel. I think some people confuse not wanting to live and not wanting to feel. See...the thing is...sometimes I wish I was a cutter. I mean...cutters cut because they want to feel something. They can't feel without hurting themselves physically. I want to STOP feeling. I feel too much. I wish I could turn off my physical feeling and my emotion.

So for no apparent reason lately, I've been thinking about my childhood and how much it...well...sucked ass. lol I mean, like I've said before, I HATE whining...but I think now's the time to get it out. Let others see what my...world was....and what it is now...

My sister (best friend like a sister) is in love! im so so so happy for her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3

Well everyone i got stupid. i bought my ex that i was going to ask out a reeses and then gave him a note asking him out even though i knew he would say no.

i am knida wanting him to say yes, but i know its a no. this can only end badly. i am probably going to ask another person out by the end of the day. might be a stupid redneck again.

I am a fourteen year old, female, music loving teenager. With one difference. I am bisexual.
Only recently [recently as in, like, 5 days ago!] did I tell anyone that. My friend, and my BEST friend.
Oh, the most important detail. I am crazily in love with my best friend. Maybe not crazily, that was the wrong word. Just...she is so perfect. We do everything together. I only met her just over a year ago. But still.
I told her, via IM, and she said she thought she might be too. I didn't tell her that I like her, just that I was bi. Now she practically knows my life story.

Okay, here's a happier quote from "The Clod" (actually William Blake, as spoken through The Clod):

"Love seeketh not itself to please,
Nor for itself hath any care,
But for another gives its ease,
And builds a Heaven in Hell's despair."

"The Pebble's" response afterwards is much more dire and pessimistic, so I'm not including it. This is meant to be a happy post. Desides, I've always identified more with The Clod. Funny that.

*Hugs*

Hmm.. what to talk about? I don't know, I guess I'll just write something about a girl I'm in love with. I might as well..

this is the mental property of me: Shadow1992

Today I realize that I'm with a dom transman; an intimate master in bed, a heart that beats in ways so human, a mind that is aware of its own ups and downs.

We're lucky to be, to have found each other. I'm in love and, juvenile as it is, that's all that matters in my life at this moment.

I'd better get my head together for my avocado and potato and golden beet salads this afternoon. Oy vey! School XD

so recently the univ or richmond ran this letter in their student paper:

http://www.thecollegianur.com/2009/01/29/letter-from-the-closet/

i think it captures some feelings of those who are still in the closet.

Thoughts anyone?

Just a bit of 411 for the community at large -

We've decided to come out of the closet instead of trying to cover it up, which would never work anyway. Besides, many of you already know. So here it is:

Things have changed for me...in a hugely fundamental way. I can't really explain without a long, involved story, but it has to do with something many of you know about - a certain...guy. Let's just say that this heretofore missing ghost returned a couple foggy nights ago, and we had some very encouraging words.

Okay, it's not a ballad. I just liked the title. I don't usually do this here, but my family reads my blog at times, and I'm trying to fool them into thinking I'm getting over Jon. If you're feeling prone to depression right now, I'd skip this post. It's pretty bleak throughout. I needed a place to put it all though, so here it is.