It's a good song by U2, but that isn't the point. Every year pride is celebrated at the end of June in my town. I went last year with my mom. And two years before that with my friend (she denies it at school, but I know she is, we've talked about it, k?) and I'm thinking of going this year. This year has been really hard for me as far as my sexuality, I've been really confused. And I haven't denied that being gay is who I am (that I feel really good about), but I know that I won't always have that opportunity to be so... out. My family for the most part doesn't care.

I feel like a prude most of the time.
But I also sometimes feel whore-ish.

My reasoning?

I am a VIRGIN!!!!! And most of my friends are not. But, I have done everything except for have sex with a guy. I've done everything with a girl also. So, therefore, I feel prudeish and whoreish all at the same time. I freaking hate it.

So, I've learned to play 'Science Fiction/Double Feature' on the guitar. It makes me happy. I can now play a grand total of 3 songs. (The other two are 'I Wanna Be Your Dog' and '20th Century Boy'). It's very satisfying, and my guitar makes me feel sexy. It's a shiny black Fender Telecaster, and its ability to make a lot of noise that is completely controlled by me is oddly seductive.

I've been listening to a millieu of music from various musicals of late. Mostly Gypsy and Les Miz. It entertains me, and Ethel Merman seems to counteract depression.

Another day, half a pack of cigarettes congesting my lungs. A holiday, nevertheless. Food, family, fun... Fantastic fireworks. Lots of "F"s, you know.

Well... My first day of this online journal... I haven't kept one of these things in forever...

So...

Days are going by rather so quickly, as graduation is coming around the corner. I wish it wasn't sometimes though...
I mean..
I'm ready to leave the house as it is, I can't stand it here, as most kids probably are feeling...

Heh, I love how the first two topics on the forum list right now are 'Buddhism' and 'PORN!'.

Now, on to other things. Last night I had a dream. It went something like this.

Be warned: This entry will be filled with me venting my frustrations at the world and other things, as well as other angst.

Hello,

This weekend our debate team had the first tournament, which was awesome. My team won half our rounds, which was cool. We got better as the day wore on, so the last one (which was on the death penalty) we completely wiped the floor with the other team. Go us.

Okay, I'm just going to say this now. I am in no way trying to offend anyone by writing this. I just need an output for my thoughts... If you're uncomfortable with my atheist ramblings then don't read okay? I don't have anything wrong with religion, I just don't understand it is all.. And remember that I love you all. <3

The Slow Poisoner has a new album!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!!! He's a local musician, one of my dad's friends, and also one of the coolest guys in the world. Like, ever. And he has a new album! Which I am now listening to.

http://theslowpoisoner.com/