It hurts that I still care. That I doubt that she will even think about the date today. That she won't care. What I hate the most is that I still care. I sat with Heather today and talked about it...Because I am not yet over her or what we had. Because if I could rewind time and fix the broken things back in the beggining, two years ago today, I would. I would undo all the hurt from both sides.
My lips taste of the tears that always fall for you.
Loving you is like leaving you.
Painful any way.
I've been Raising Kain for 2 years.
And raising hell since the day I was born.
Let me enjoy my play on words that make everybody laugh.
This is an easy way out and you presented it.
So I can say things that will hurt you.
But not me, because I'm so damn numb
I can't even feel the cold.
My family is so disfunctional its not even funny.
God i'm bad at writing these things. i'll tr thoughhh.. here it goes...
I hate when the people who I have built my world around leave. Because I am so used to spending every minute with you...I have no larger circle of friends. I wander at lunch feeling lost...I cut class so I can spend time with somebody who is slowly becoming more important to me. And I feel bad. Because I may be dating you, but yet again, you aren't there. So my eyes wander.
I am tired of girls who break my heart. I am tired of boys who break my heart. I can handle rejection. I can even handle being dumped. Bt hurt me when I've given you so many second chances and almost 2 years of my life?
MY GOD! The last week has been one hell of a roller coaster ride...So my gf and I broke up and then I went out with a boy and then we broke up and then my gf and I got back together and the boy and I broke up and then my gf and I broke up and then the boy and I went out again and then my gf and I got back together. 7 cool points to anybody who can follow that. So who am I dating now?
I love her, God, I do. She's everything for me and without her in my life, I don't know what I would do. But, she's admitted to cheating. Many times. And she does drugs- the list seems to keep growing. Back in March when we first started talking she, by maybe...October?, explained that from March through maybe the summer, she looked at our relationship as... I guess a fling.
Mon. December 18th, 06
I really like some of our late night talks. Like last night I aid something that got her in a bad mood so the mood was off for a while but it got better, thank goodness! I hate leaving things on a bad note with her because then that's all I can think about all day.