I got atheist. lol.

I Stop I drop I roll

And still I want to know

Why can't I see your face

Why can't I feel your grace

I want to believe in you

and yet I cannot do

the things you ask of me

I do not think I see

I feel so lonely now

I cannot see the sun

This ever-lasting

bleakness that overrides the moon

It seeps into my skin

It reflects to me my sin

I want to see your face

I want to see your grace

I'm lost and cannot see

these chains are binding me

I wait to be set free

and yet I will not be

I wish to know you're there

but I can't be unfair

I have been having an ongoing conversation with a classmate, who is trying to convince me of the logicality of Islam (Which is pronounced Iss-lamb, apparently). She assures me that the religion makes more sense than Christianity (The religion that has burned me so), and that I would be welcomed to the religion. She has offered to bring Muslim Apologetics for me to read, and I think I will.

God came to me in a dream and said,
“Hey Greg, have you ever realized
that only crazy people are blessed with visions of me?”

I said, “Why, yes God, that is true, if only for the fact
That the people you choose to contact fail to realize that
Your presence is but a dream.” I said as several pink
flamingos flew by my head.

God expressed a great, booming laugh, “That is why I have come
to you, my child. I wish for you to partake in everyday deeds and relish in
the triviality of it.”

I pondered aloud, “God told me to buy some groceries.”

By Jeff Walsh

As it starts, "A Jihad For Love" has a familiar feeling for anyone who's ever seen movies about issues of sexuality and spirituality. We learn that the only reference to homosexuality in the Qur'an is about Sodom and Gomorrah. And that, though not part of the Qur'an, several Hadith (sayings attributed directly to Muhammad) directly condemn homosexuality. So, we're in familiar ground here, in a debate that continues about how to rectify sexuality and spirituality.

From the beginning, if you interchanged the words Qur'an and Bible, it would seem to make a lot of the same arguments with which many Americans are familiar. But as the film plays on, the familiarity washes away. People are imprisoned. Their backs bearing the marks of 100 bloody lashes. They leave their home and wait as refugees seeking asylum from a country they love, families they miss, and a religion that is still an important and meaningful part of their lives.

Muslim filmmaker Parvez Sharma isn't out to poke holes in Islam, or quote scripture back and forth with scholars (in fact, every scholar in the movie without fail just says homosexuality is wrong). But he is clearly interested in showing the depth of purpose that many gay Muslims feel, and the disconnect that causes with their culture. Sharma is also showing many sides of Islam, but none resembling the Al Qaeda caricature we usually see.

I think this is an awesome song about the ridiculous of religion and the people that preach it. I'd say give the video/song a chance:

Okay I just sat up all night writing my response to chey's "confused..." post. I think I did a pretty goood job of it, though I did get a bit long-winded. It's the drawback of being both a writer AND a history nut, I think.

Now I have to get my ass to sleep, cuz my eyes are about to melt.

Nitey nite all. Hugs.

I said this on the Prayers for Bobby post, but just so everyone knows, the person who opened an account and spewed that hateful, homophobic pseudo-religious shit has been deleted, along with his/her vile comment. This site welcomes many different points of view, but hatred and intolerance are not among them. Anyone who runs across one of these people again, please PM either me or Jeff, okay?

By Jeff Walsh

"Camp Out" is a documentary that follows a handful of gay Christian teens attend the first summer camp exclusively designed for them. Many of the teens feel pulled between the gay community and the God community, with each demonizing the other on a regular basis.

All of the kids are in their mid- to late-teens, and out to their parents. One of the girl's mother was very enthusiastic about the notion of a summer camp where her daughter could explore both spirituality and sexuality.

"You can have both those two together? That's awesome!" she says.

Like any reality show or documentary, narratives begin to form between the kids. There are crushes, friendship, bonds, and situations in which people aren't uncomfortable. This ranges from gay guys who aren't very comfortable doing sports activities to one of the boys feeling uncomfortable by a game of Truth or Dare.

By Jeff Walsh

Chad Allen has a lot on his plate.

His latest entries to the Donald Strachey gay detective movies, "On The Other Hand, Death" and "Ice Blues," the third and fourth installments, are being released soon.

"Save Me," the movie he produced with Robert Gant and Judith Light, comes to theaters in September.

And, at present, he's finishing up a successful run of a play with Valerie Harper as Talullah Bankhead. But he's no stranger to theater, recently doing Douglas Carter Beane's "Little Dog Laughed," which required him to get naked onstage.

But what's most surprising is that for how long he's been out and doing good work as an actor, activist, and role model, this is his first interview in Oasis. This oversight is officially corrected.

I first remember Chad from his role on "Our House" in 1986 (yeah, yeah, you weren't born yet, I get it) when he was only 12 (and in the business for seven years at that point). He later went on to a regular role on "Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman."

In 1996, when he was 21, photos of him kissing a guy in a hot tub appeared in The Globe tabloid. They were sold to the rag by Allen's then-boyfriend (I'd never heard that tidbit before, but Wikipedia doesn't lie).

He waited until 2001 to officially come out, and has since been very open about his past partying and drug addiction, his spiritual journey, and his new role as: an openly gay activist, an actor doing great work, and and "old fogie" who’s more interested in hanging out at home with his boyfriend and dogs.

I bring up his past both to give context to some of what we talk about in the interview, but mainly because in "Save Me," his character starts as a drug-addicted party boy who cleans up to find love and a better life, which (aside from the ex-gay ministry setting), seems to touch on Allen's own journey, as well.

Chad and I spoke on the phone last week. Here's what we said:

Let's see.. just in case someone is actually reading this, I'll take the time to introduce myself.. Well firstly, my name is Alicia. Funny thing about my name: one's pronounced like "Aleesha" and the other is pronounced like "Aleesia." My name's pronounced like the second one. What else?

If you know me you know that religion has never played a large role in my life. It's never been part of whatever I've been trying to do with my life and I've never seen the need for it. Over the course of my life, I've met people who feel the same. We don't feel we need religion and haven't tried to. Some of them have tried out different religions and realized that none of them work out.

I read one of the forum topics on here discussing how your family reacted to one's coming out especially from a religious up bringing. So I thought I would share my experiences. But please note, by no means in any way shape or form, am I an authority or do I consider myself an authority with regards to issues of homosexuality or religion or any combination of the two.

I've noticed that, on this site and in the gay community in general, people are, in general, incredibly, seriously against religion.

But, as much as I hate to say it, I don't think it will ever fade.

And when I think about something to hard, I tend to write about it.
And that's what I did.
Feel free to write as many angry comments as you want.

SO.

People never comment on my poetry and that makes me sad :(

Many a night I fall awake
Under the weight of this world.
Not until that world would quake
Had this scroll of dreams unfurled.
What is this poison, them or me?
What have I done for this pain?
So different, am I, for that I see
Will never grasp the rain.

Fear not, my love, so pure, my dear,
He cannot see, he cannot feel.

As I sit here in the bleak, darkness of my room I can hear them. They are the Invaders. They speak in loud tones, of other things, yet I know inside they are cursing my existence, because I'm gay. I feel so alone. I've met others like me, with habitual similarities and compulsive differences. I feel eventually torn from them, when I say my father is a pastor.

By Jeff Walsh

In "Seventy Times Seven," Salvatore Sapienza's debut novel, Brother Vito is living a double life. By day, he teaches the boys in his high school religion class. But at night, he might be anywhere from a Pet Shop Boys concert, a dance floor, or a sex club.

It's not the book you're thinking, though. Vito isn't living a double life. The brothers in his house know he's gay, and his gay friends know about his religious life. Throughout the course of the novel, Vito struggles to choose between two sides of his being that seem perfect and whole to him, except they can't coexist.

Obviously, you might hazard a guess at which side wins out, because otherwise they'd be writing this book up on religious websites instead. But the journey is interesting because of that duality. Vito has a true yearning for the gift that he finds in his religious life and its spirituality. It isn't the closeted priest and the big declaration or scandal that people might expect. As Vito weighs the pros and cons, he keeps making good points for each. It isn't that he just has a blind spot that prevents the decision.

By Salvatore Sapienza

I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through raging waters they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned.

-- The Book of the Prophet Isaiah, 43:1-3

All the incoming freshmen boys at Mount Saint Vincent's High School were issued gym uniforms with their last names emblazoned in black block letters across the backs of their gray T-shirts. This was primarily so the PE teachers, who had classes of more than sixty students per session, could easily identify each boy. "Hey, Simmons, stop roughhousing!" "Owens, pick up the pace!" That sort of thing.

Poor Paul Ness. Since he and his identical twin brother, Matt, were in the same PE class, the Ness boys were issued shirts embroidered not only with their last names, but also with their first initials. The taunting of Paul started on the first day of gym class, when Brother O'Malley -- during a hellish round of dodgeball -- yelled," You're out, P. Ness!"

"Brother O'Malley called that kid a penis," one boy whispered. Soon laughter spread throughout the gym, with only Brother O'Malley clueless as to what was so funny.

By Jeff Walsh

When I heard Bruce Bawer was coming to town as part of his book tour, I immediately knew I wanted to attend. Partly because I had enjoyed his controversial book, A Place At The Table, which was released a few years ago, and partly because I expected controversy.

Since A Place At The Table was released in 1993, Bawer's name is constantly brought up in the gay press. He's against gay pride, sex-negative, conservative, assimilationist, you name it.

Walking to the Metropolitan Community Church, my view of how he was perceived was confirmed when people walking behind me referred to Bawer as being part of the Gang of Four, which refers to four recent outspoken "critics" of certain aspects of gay culture. (Michelangelo Signorile, Gabriel Rotello and Larry Kramer being the other three, I suppose).

I admit, I expected there to be some sort of scene during his question and answer period. The pastor of the church said members of Sex Panic! were in attendance, but just sat quietly and didn't say anything.

Bawer, on tour promoting "Stealing Jesus: How Fundamentalism Betrays Christianity," delivered his book reading from the pulpit of the church as he explained his motivation for writing the book, which explains how religion has gotten so far off-track in this country.

By Jeff Walsh

A newsgroup for gay and lesbian youth seeking help is constantly flooded with questions of how to balance sexuality and spirituality. The struggle to balance the two proves fatal for many teens, and it almost killed Mel White.

White, 55, is now the Minister of Justice for the Metropolitan Community Churches nationwide. As late as 1991, Dr. White's resume read like an entry out of Who's Who in the Religious Right. He wrote speeches for Ollie North, was a ghostwriter on a book for Jerry Falwell, worked with Jim Bakker and Pat Robertson and walked along the beach with Billy Graham.