Recently I've discovered just how intense my personal propensity for violence is; that horrid thrill that comes of bruising skin and tearing flesh brings me a joy unmatched by any form of sexual intimacy. Naturally, my horror at the idea of harming a person who doesn't wish to be harmed hasn't been at all diminished- but where I once thought myself completely incapable of violence, I find that I'm certainly quite capable and very, very willing.
I got home at 9 from work today. It's been draining me whole. Apparently, I have a day to work on signs on the whole "Lights On After School" walk on Thursday. The entire school is Walking from Carroll Street to Jay Street and back to promote the Good Shepherd After School program. It's all fun and games, but it's a bit tiring when you're the one left with working on the signs for you're kindergarten class.
ok, has anyone here heard of a site called 'the hex files'? if not, i pity you! it's great! i just spent like 3 3/4 hours on it reading hp/dm fanfics, and loving them! they are one of the better sites i've visited and i am now addicted to them.
i'm also addicted to the manga called inuyasha... yeah, if my friends ever find out about this, i'm not going to live it down....cuz i kept busting their chops about them going on&on&on&on about it and now i do the same thing....
Gender. Gender. Gender.
What comes to mind when I say such a thing. Male and Female right? That would be the general consensus, since that is the only two genders we generally ever relate to at all. But how many people do you actually know that are full blown female in everything that they do. They are feminine maybe with a few actions or their voice, or their body. But guaranteed, that female could have an obsession with bugs, which is generally male centric, or maybe they have a nasty habit like burping whenever they feel like.
Since when did I care?
The pain feels so good.
make me scream and cry.
c'mon and make me die.
burn me with your cigarette,
make me be your little pet.
for your lovely knives.
I give you my tithes.
tie me to the chair.
Damn, it's only fair.
tonight ends again.
and whip you, my friend.
So yeah. I had asked my mom if we could go to Starbucks. So we do, and while we're there, she talks to me about when I should have sex, and about pregnancy, and the whole straight sex talk. She doesn't know I'm queer, so I was like "Omigod" through the whole thing. And then she makes sex references, and I'm thinking, "TMI. I'm a lesbian!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" It was surreal.
If ever I form a glam rock punk band, it will be called Manchild and the Dysphorias.
I recently read about the whole "men's movement'' and how men need to connect with their inner, primal Iron John lumberjackmanliness in order to live balanced lives. I guess it makes sense that repression of anything would make for an unbalanced life. Still, should women connect with their inner, primal shoe hording chocolate glutton? Maybe we should eat chocolate and be lumberjacks. ("I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay, I sleep all night and I work all day...")
So while looking for relationship advice via google (sad, I know), I stumbed upon this nice little site. Since I don't seem to have any privacy journaling in an actual notebook, I'll use this instead. Maybe. I guess we'll see how it goes.
I should really shower. We're swimming in gym, and blah. I smell like chlorine, and probably sweat from yoga. And yet here I am sitting at the computer at 1:30 in the morning. Oh well. Who said I was the most glamorous person in the world?
Would i look like a total fool if i go out next friday with the guy from the last post?
Guess i'm just horny....
I love sex. All kinds of sex. Sex is my friend. Sex is my ally in my time of need. Sex makes everything more fun. I'm the type of girl that likes to be pushed, squeezed, bitten, anything involving a little bit of pain just adds so much more to the pleasure for me. I like it missionary, upside down, side ways. backwards, upwards, north, south, east, west. Whatever you wanna call it.
I surrendered to my sister's tastes and read Twilight by Stephenie Meyer... I thoroughly enjoyed the first third of the book, and after that I could feel her stretching out the story... of course, that part you read anyways - obsessively, but with little admiration. The last third was at least decent.
Alright, rant time.
By the way... thank you guys so much for the comments! Makes it all so much better :)
By the way #2 - I'm listening to depressing Russian music, so thoughts might be a bit jumbled.
last night me and meghan were on the phone.
i feel like an ass...
cuz at the beggining of the convo i just blabbered on about absalutely nuthing and didnt take the time to notice she was crying,
i believe she was trying to hide it from me.
and, it worked, until she sniffled and let out a small sigh,
my heart skipped a beat and i was like
so yea, the lesbians that were makeing out in my bathtub are amazing.
we hung out till like.... 11:00 last night.
it was like... mind blowing-ly hillarious.
boy do lesbians have a sense of humor,
there were phrases used like "fatty dance"
and "aqua man"
we talked about ex's and "futures"
and we played "super lesbian" duh duh duh duh!
we got kicked out of a grocery store.
so my friends are sitting in my bathtub.
they are makeing out and grunting and omg.
erin is wearing cheetah boxers ((shes hot!))
and amber is rubbing her all over,
i swear im about to have an orgasm!
i walked in a minute ago and i swear there were some dancing fingers.
oh my ghaa!!!!
they are so hot!
i will post pictures of the two and of them kissing later!
You life my shirt off.
I lift off yours.
I run my fingers across
your toned, firm torso,
caressing your tightly packed abs,
slowly finding my way
to your waist and belt buckle.
I feel you find my
waist and buckle and
it loosens, oh, so slowly,
leaving me in suspense.
we both make our way
to the bed across the room
well, ive always thought that i was lesbian...ive never had crushes on the opposite sex...until now.
not only is he a male, not only is he over 25, hes my chemistry teacher!
hes sexy, handsome, knows how to make me smile and laugh and he is so intelligent...thats a real turn on for me.