Well this is my very first post ever. Let me introduce myself. I am a freshman in high school due to turn 15 years old in a matter of days. I wouldn't consider myself very popular, in fact, I can't stand preps. I'm actually pretty awkward. I hate school, my parents, and I hate the stereotypes accompanying sexuality. The only things I truly love in life are my extended family, my friends, and music. Oh yeah, and I love my best friend. She's like awesome and a total nerdy Gleek just like me. I'm 100% against bullying and I absolutely love love love love love KellyJane.
This is the 1st time I ever talked to a soul about this. I have had this on my mind for some time now. I read a few articles about similar situations before that motivated me to write about me for the first time. Only through the anonymity of the internet can I find relief to talk about my sexual.....well......things. So, I registered, and here I am. Again, you, internet strangers, are the first I talk to about this. All of the following, I never told anyone about. Until now.
Im 20 and for the past year or so ive been worried over my sexuality. It all started after one day randomly thinking 'What if i was gay?', from there it started to develop into a much more serious question and wouldnt stop bothering me.
Ok, I'm 15 years old. I've been recently pondering my sexuality. I am attracted to girls, however I have had two failed relationships that didin't last very long. Both about less than a month. This has just made me want women less. However I get attracted to men when they crossdress. I think its wrong but I cant help myself. I haven't dated in over a year and I feel lonley. I have a good group of friends but sometimes I feel alone when they are dating and im just the single one with nothing to do. I also have suddenly noticed men to be more attractive.
I am an 18 year old bi-sexual boy :) I am completely out and have been for years. I knew something was up with me when I was 7 years old (yeah I know pretty young). Since that time, all through primary school and most of high school I never really addressed it; I was just too young I think and I basically just wanted to be a kid and enjoy my childhood.
I don't even know what I'm doing here; I just discovered this site today, but it looks like a lot of kids not all that different from me write a lot of stuff here that may be crap or may actually be kind of meaningful, so I'm willing to give it (whatever 'it' is) a shot without worrying too much about clogging up the Internet with my irrelevant musings.
I thought this was an fun little quiz: http://quizfarm.com/quizzes/new/nogoodgirl/what-type-of-lesbian-are-you-...
And post what you get in the comments. Boys you're more then welcome to take it too :P
I've come back a few times and visited what I have written here. Most of it was a lot of trying to prove to myself who I was, and denying that I wasn't what I wanted to be.
I looked back at the entry before this one - I quit high school three times. I went to a normal high school, left for legitimate reasons. Tried again, left for the same reasons, and the third time..
I left because leaving before left me in a position where I was to be doomed to be in Highschool until..
Gender. Gender. Gender.
What comes to mind when I say such a thing. Male and Female right? That would be the general consensus, since that is the only two genders we generally ever relate to at all. But how many people do you actually know that are full blown female in everything that they do. They are feminine maybe with a few actions or their voice, or their body. But guaranteed, that female could have an obsession with bugs, which is generally male centric, or maybe they have a nasty habit like burping whenever they feel like.
I just read this article about how sexual arousal is different for men and women...I won't try to summarize it, here's the link.
Actually, my mom sent it to me...guess she's been doing some research since I came out to her, haha.
The findings here are similar to this article I read in the NY Times Magazine a while ago...http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/25/magazine/25desire-t.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=sexual%20arousal%20scientific%20study&st=cse
What do you all think about this?
So, perhaps everybody else here has already figured this out, but I had a revelation last night: When it comes to sexuality, there are two "categories": gender identification (what gender you feel like) and gender attraction (what gender you are attracted to). Like this:
Oh god, I'm really fuckin' confused with this.
I am ghey. FO DIZZLE! And that's the way that I like it!
but recently, I've found myself really falling for a boy that I know, and i definitely know that he really likes me back. But all i can think is.. What the fuck's going on???
Now I'm back to square one of doubting my sexuality. -_-"
Is this normal? Like, has anyone else found one person that they'd turn straight for?
A small victory, but a very satisfying one :D Also, this really adorable girl I like is coming home tomorrow and we are probably going to hang out all weekend to make up for spring break. She just texted me and said she can't wait to see me and get out of oklahoma. I got so excited lol yeah im pathetic. Anyways after a week of no antidepressants my dad finally picked up my lexapro which will just make my weekend better because I've been really crazy without them since I was forced to just stop taking them after I've been on them for more than 2 months.
My name is Chris and I am 26 years old. I grew up in a very religiously devout house with a dominate mother and I say this to set you up. I recently in the last six months have begun to use my own mind to discover my beliefs versus my parents conditioning and this is something we all as people go through.
My problem is that I cant figure out my sexuality at all Im so confused.
Alright, rant time.
By the way... thank you guys so much for the comments! Makes it all so much better :)
By the way #2 - I'm listening to depressing Russian music, so thoughts might be a bit jumbled.
I'm not really sure what just happened. My parents seemed to take it okay, but I'm still not sure if they believe me. My mom says I don't have to feel like I need to decide. And I'm not sure they realize that I just...KNOW. My dad didn't say anything. I don't really know what they think. It's so confusing!
So guess what, guys? I think I might have lost my mind.
This is my first time posting here, so sorry that it has to be ranting, but... Whatcha gonna do?
Well my close friends were the first to find out.. Then I went on and broke the silence with my Mom..
my own hypocrisy is ending.
this sounds really stupid, but i don't care. i was doing some myspace survey and it asked me what i had on my desktop. (it's a sexy picture of kate beckinsale from underworld....mmmmm....) and usually i wouldn't have said that, because i'm too afraid of exposing myself. i had a bad experience with too much exposure last year....
but i realized something. i fight for gay visibility and gay rights all day, but i don't apply them to myself for fear of losing my friends.