Last week it was Valentines Day.
I celebrated my one-month anniversary with my boyfriend.
i got lazy. website is going to be up by sunday, sorry everyone. it's just the book reviews page, too much homework and other things are infringing upon my work. i'm so introverted lol. i have done so much over the past month with my servernotebook, seriously modded, i love it!
a funny thought popped in my head just now. what if i played Spanish Vihuela? lol! too many complex chord positions, plus no gears to tune, just wooden pegs like a lute. i want to play Baroque Lute. then again i need to commit myself to tuning 24 strings.
I am easily amused. What will happen today will in no way shape the fact that the world will still turn tomorrow. Think about it, my problems will not be your problems. What I do today may not have any influence on you, but may alter me in many ways. We are strangely independent, yet similarly intertwined. I guess that is the magic in being abstract.
-Chelsea @ www.freedomuniversal.webs.com/
I need a new icon, being that I no longer have one...
Not thinking about cakes or heartaches
Emptiness jumping at the vibrancy
In slimy sweat seeping
Of the beautiful caged birds
Smoke smothering the lights
Blind me from my unnerving hindsight
We are gifted with the power of words.
The power of clarity of expression, to be able to communicate intangible ideas into defined, boxed, concrete meanings that are - words.
Let us not abuse that power, and in effect, rob ourselves and everyone of that privilege.
I think precision in the manipulating of language is vital in understanding ourselves, our thoughts, and new concepts. Because what are words but to symbolise ideas? Thoughts and behavioural patterns are subjected to the frameworks put in place by our knowledge of words.
well i useualy like the cold better, even though my friends all use me as a space heater during the winter because i am always so warm, but this afternoon i was sitting outside burning off some trash in our trash pit. i am useualy not too trusting of fire, but today i was sitting there and i thought that the fire was very beautiful. i think tyler has gotten in my head a little bit, but i like fire now. i thik i will try to be more like the phoenix and rise from the ashes of my errors. i feel like i am renewed and it is all good. i feel like i am , . . . new.
I had a dream that I was friends with Mitch and Lass once again. We were sitting around Mitch's computer making jokes. Could it be an omen?
I feel so skint.
It's like, I feel like I'm standing at the precipice of a great mountain screaming to the top of my lungs...and all around me are people who are in my life, not even paying attention or listening to my screams.
I wrote this when i was trying to figure out if i was insane or just trying to justify my actions by that thought.
I scare myself
I trick myself every day
I go through all the motions
of a normal human being
But in my head
Youll find im not the same
Anxiety is to classify me
But Im not sure
If this thought is pure
Is it all a dillusion
Just a boring ammusion
Have you ever felt... the breath of expiring slumber? When the sun forays into consciousness so raw, that you remain caroused in blissful illusion? The ceiling becomes pure skin, porcelain white and distorted with perfection. Vision smattered with fog and rain blur as if looking through a stormy window, and lights commence a frenzied dance with the tremor of your gaze. Clutched in your hands, sheets dripping with pits and falls of morning light becomes your willing ward. And you wish you can remain there forever, drifting in and out of oblivion. There, you're just a beating heart, a receptical of feeling. Just simply... living.
Ah... the irony. Today I went to new market with my sister (Oh Yay! Family Bonding!) because she needs to fix her laptop. We were waiting at bus stop and I started talking to her what people are like.
In a labyrinth
Between two different worlds
Of humanity and savagery
It destroys me
And Defects my happy delusions
I've come to come conclusion
That collision is soon to come
Give me your strongest scream
Not your feeble dreams
Feed me your darkest truths
Not your unbidden lies
Shadows that ooze and drip
Upon the walls
Shroud my solid epiphany
As I sit here in the bleak, darkness of my room I can hear them. They are the Invaders. They speak in loud tones, of other things, yet I know inside they are cursing my existence, because I'm gay. I feel so alone. I've met others like me, with habitual similarities and compulsive differences. I feel eventually torn from them, when I say my father is a pastor.
This is my first journal entry on this site, and I wanted to write about my doubts and fears. I feel that I was supposed to be born a girl, but I have so many thoughts and questions that cloud my mind, I don't know what to do. I've already told my parents about this, but they seem to be distant. To start my first thought, what if I were to live the rest of my life as a female?
First time ever playing Kingdom Hearts and I must say its fun. Although A long time ago my mum spilled soda on my controller so the buttons keep sticking so I'm getting angry at it. I kept trying to hit the little shadow thingys and nothing would happen. Since I tend to throw things when I get mad I am now watching Rent, with my cats.
I absolutely love cats, and dogs, and horses come to think of it but the cats are the only ones allowed in the house. I have five total in the house and two outside. My three children are all orange tabbies I bottle fed so their very affectionate and love to cuddle. There are two boys and a girl, Noah, Rex, and Baby cat. Then the two others are Angel(a tortoise shell) and Stormy(grey and white patches with dark gray stripes in the light gray). Stormy is my brothers cat but she makes too much noise when hes sleeping or something so I've adopted her.