I have given up on sleeping, literally, and I keep on playing "Sweetest thing" by U2. Wo-oh-oh, the sweetest thing. The question is, if I play it long enough, will I attain nirvana?
It’s not a need or a want but a right.
To fly and submerge and feel, no not feel, desire.
Closer and unreachable, it’s never enough.
You give the needed but it’s never sufficient
We always want more, I always want more.
To let go seems easy to write.
To write is never easy to express.
I hold on, still holding.
I open my eyes and its reality
But it feels like my world.
Be the open mind of the immortal
Search reality to its roots
Give and take the ecstasy
Spoil the numerous powers of imagination
With the unthinkable pretend; it’s in the abyss
This is all so new to me. I keep saying I'm Bi in a way of self defense because in my head it makes it ok to be half gay. But I think its time to stop with the pretenses and accept the truth of what I am and that is a full on lesbian.